Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
