Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize