Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
