I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
