He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
