Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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