I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
