Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
