I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
