I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize