after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
