sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
