My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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