so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
