I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i would punch a child for taco bell
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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