I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
