Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
