i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
