How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize