i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just had sex bonerless
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
