I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
