the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
