Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
love makes seman taste better
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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