WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
