dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
