So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
