if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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