no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
