he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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