Dual....:-)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
