so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
