She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
