i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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