dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The adults are the big ones right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
