I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
