She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
