It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
