How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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