Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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