Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
