is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
where are you?
Hypothermia
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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