Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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