I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
