GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
