Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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