he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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