I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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