ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
