i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
