I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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