I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
