I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
