Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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