I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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