We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
