i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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