the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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