How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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