I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize