If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
