if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
