we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
