Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize