Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
