Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
