I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
