Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
