Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
